I shall believe
by MoonlightMiko2005
Summary: Finding someone that is crying can change perception. Snape finds Hermione crying in a Potions closet...and everything changes. Snape's POV. Rating pending to change. Chapter 4 is up...a note from the narrator...
1. Chapter 1 The beginning

I shall believe

A.n: I am taking a break from all my stories because I have serious writer's block and my birthday is coming up this weekend, so I am not going to be writing for a while. However, this story has been running around in my brain forever and I absolutely love this song…(it's on the Roswell soundtrack and it's beautiful.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I don't own the lyrics to this song by Sheryl Crow. If I did, I would be rich and I wouldn't be writing this disclaimer…

I have always had a cold and dark personality. It's been my nature since I was about in my teens and young adulthood. I have never been open about my feelings, nor have I ever been warm and "fuzzy" to someone in my life. I have never known true friendship and never really had a one love that I saw as my "other half." I have never been that stupid to think that someone was out there that was meant for me. I could never stomach to feel feelings, but that all changed on one cold night.

A night that I was set free…

The halls had been dark and the candle lights flickered off the cement walls that belonged to the dungeons. I listened to my footsteps as they echoed through the shadowed passage that I roamed.

I was heading to my office after a night of patrolling the halls for loose straggling children that were either lost or too dumb to realize the time. I had taken about 80 points from Gryffindor and I was reveling in my success when I heard another sound echo up ahead of me.

I stopped and listened to the sound. It was light and muffled, but it was the distinct sound of a girl crying. I started to walk again, but very slowly and softly, carefully trying to sneak up on my final "victim" of the night. I caught a glimpse of an open door that had a sliver of candle light dancing through the crack. I smiled an evil smile and approached the door very quietly.

When I reached the door, I took the cold metal handle in my hand and pulled slowly on it and put on eye up to the opening. The crying got a little louder and I saw a bush of wavy brown hair that shone brilliantly in the faint light.

I realized that it was the school's insufferable know-it-all, Hermione Granger. She had her hands covering her face and tears were spilling out from behind them. She sat crunched up in a ball and was rocking slightly on the wooden bench that was supposed to be for big containers of potions that were in need of storing.

I opened the door wider and stepped inside of the small room and she didn't notice me right away. I stood with my arms crossed and I put a scowl squarely on my face. Ms. Granger sniffled a little more then looked up and gasped slightly.

"Ms. Granger? What the bloody hell are you doing down here at this time of night!"

She looked up at me even more and I saw the tears in her eyes sparkle in the soft light.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I-I'm very s-sorry…"

Her voice was meek and frail. I felt the curiosity bubble within me.

"Why are you crying, Ms. Granger?"

She gave me confused look and her head fell with exhaustion. I stepped closer and she looked back up.

"It really is none of your business, sir…"

"I will not be spoken to like that. Answer my question."

Hermione's eyes welled with tears and I felt strange. What was this feeling?

"I-I'm crying because…V-Viktor Crum broke up with me. He said he found someone else…"

I rolled my eyes and shook it with disgust. All she had been crying about was a little crush.

"Well, I don't see the reason why…"

But before I could finish, she had gotten up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and she cried.

_Come to me now  
and lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be alright  
and I shall believe_

The initial shock of what was happening didn't register with my brain. Hermione Granger was hugging me. She was looking for comfort, knowing I couldn't give any. I looked around the small room for anything that could help me escape her grasp, but I found nothing. She openly sobbed into my robes and I knew the only thing that could possibly work…I brought a hand up and started to pat her lightly on the back.

She sobbed some more and she clung tighter than ever.

"Ms. Granger...this is…inappropriate…"

"I-I know…I just…"

She didn't finish and she pulled away and straightened her robes. She wiped the tears from her puffy eyes and she approached the door behind me. I turned and watched her with confusion. She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"Thank you, Professor. I only needed a shoulder to cry on…" And she smiled a teary smile.

My whole world shattered.

A.n: Okay…next chapter will be up soon. I know that it's a little fast, but who cares? It's a story for Merlin's sake! Okay, please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2 Where do I go from here?

Chapter 2- Where do I go from here?

A.n: Thanks for the 3 reviews I got, but I am surprised. Well, enjoy the next chapter and I promise…this story will NOT be as fast as the others have. I have rushed into the Hermione/Snape relationship before and I will not in this one.

Now, you must be thinking…why would seeing a girl, more or less…a Gryffindor…crying her eyes out on my shoulder shatter my world? To be honest, I didn't know at the time, but believe me when I say that it really did. I was never the same man again, but I didn't want to believe it. (I'll get to that later.) Seeing Hermione Granger cry changed how I saw everything around me, but I didn't show it…I couldn't…I didn't know how.

"**PAY ATTENTION YOU INSOLENT CHILD**!"

The student that I was yelling at jumped two feet off of her chair and stared at me with wide eyes that reminded me of saucers. I had been going through the precise way to measure the Horn bee venom, when I noticed that a Gryffindor was just scribbling big circles on her parchment.

I looked around and saw my class staring at me with shock and terror and it made me smile slightly. I felt the power rushing through my dark veins and I put an icy gloat on my face.

"I want six rolls of parchment explaining the effects of a Horn bee sting on my desk by next class."

The small sound of groans filled the air and I felt my anger boil over the edge.

"**I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR INTOLERABLE COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT. NOW, GET OUT**!"

The students left in a flash and I sat down in my chair with a big thump. I didn't know what to do. I was in a daze and I couldn't comprehend my feelings. Wait…I was feeling. Normally, I ignore my feelings and bury them in the darkest part of my heart, but now I was…I think…feeling. I didn't know what I was feeling. It had been so long since I have felt, but I was.

"Get a hold of yourself Severus! This isn't you. It's all from that bloody Granger."

I couldn't let that little episode get to me. It would never have before, so I don't know why it was now. I didn't know what to do. I had to get a hold of myself before my next class. I looked at my calendar and my eyes widened. I had the bloody seventh years next and it was Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.

I really can't handle Granger at the present state. That was cut and dry truth.

Fifteen minutes later:

My class entered the room and I walked gracefully out of my office.

"Hurry up! Get in here now! Mr. Longbottom, **STOP PROCRASTINATING AND GET IN YOUR SEAT**!"

The class scurried lazily to their seats. They were used to my outraged prattling and I could tell. I saw Mr. Potter sit with a thump and he was laughing quietly with Mr. Weasly about something.

"**MR POTTER**! Would you care to share what your obvious amusement is with the class? Hmmm?"

"Uh…no, sir. I don't"

"Good. Now with your permission, can I begin my lesson?"

Mr. Potter nodded at me and I turned quickly, my robes followed my legs and wrapped around my knees for a moment, then fell limp. I could feel Granger's eyes on my back and I felt a shudder go down my spine.

"We are going to continue with the lesson that I started last week…just before I was interrupted by the little incident…"

I could hear a small echo of hushed laughter and I sent a glare to the front row. The incident that had happen was Longbottom put the wrong amount of Fairy Dust in his Wolfsbane mixture and it violently exploded into his face. I had to cancel the rest of the double lesson to take him to the hospital wing and get the lumps growing on his face removed.

"Now, all of your vials are on the shelf to the right. I will be coming around and observing your progress. Go and BE QUIET! ANY talking will be the loss house points!"

The scurry to the cupboard was silent. I sat down in my chair for a few seconds and waited for them to begin. I watched Granger most of all. I knew she would try and make an attempt to help Potter, Weasly, or Longbottom. She stood there, the sunlight that was very slight and very slim happened to be shining through onto her hair. I noticed that the red in her hair stood out in the sun more that usual…okay…losing my focus.

I pinched my thigh to make myself get out of my daze and I quickly rose from my seat. I sturdily walked to the closest table and began to take note of how poorly Seamus was stirring his potion.

"You can do better than that."

I walked away and hovered over Weasly and Potter's shoulders. They still had those goofy smiles on their faces, but when they realized I was near, their smiles grew down and I crossed my arms. I bent down and whispered in Potter's ear.

"If you do not stop your behavior, I will force you to tell the class what you think is so funny. Do I make myself clear, Potter?"

He didn't move and I glanced at the clock. The lesson was almost over.

"**TIMEISUP**! Bottle your vials and place them back into the cupboard."

The class jumped up and bottled their potions. I watched Granger out of the corner of my eye. She was cautiously pouring her potion into the glass vial and she corked it slowly.

The class began to depart and I returned to my desk and sat. I didn't notice the figure in the back of the class.

"Sir, may I speak with you?"

I jumped and let out a long breath.

"Don't do that, for Merlin's sake!"

"Sorry, sir."

The figure came out from the shadows and I gulped when I saw it Ms. Granger.

"I want to explain myself to you for the other night…"

"There is no need. It is not my concern…"

"Well, you surely acted like it when you wanted to know why I was crying."

I didn't know what to say. I just stared at her and she looked intently at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Bollocks."

I gave her a cold glare and she just shrugged. I felt my blood boil. How dare she be so passive with me. Did she forget who she is talking to?

"I'm warning you, Ms. Granger. Don't talk to me in that manner."

She nodded and fiddled with a piece of hair.

"Sir…I want you to know that…I really felt better after…after that. I was more…relaxed."

"Well, if that is all you needed…then I must ask you to leave."

She nodded again and I turned in my chair. I heard the door open and shut with a creak.

Bloody hell, where do I go from here?

(A.n: there you go…next chapter will be up soon. Please review!)


	3. Chapter 3 Denial

Chapter 3- Denial

(A.n: Thanks to all who reviewed. I don't have much to say, but that I don't really know what Harry and Ron were laughing about in the last chapter. I just wanted a distraction to occur and I couldn't think of anything else. So, enjoy this chapter(it's short) and I warn you that the next chapter will be the shortest one I have ever written…please review!)

A couple of days passed and I struggled to fight everything that was literally betraying me. I couldn't accept what I was feeling and I needed to know what I was to do. These feelings though brought out some memories that I had forgotten and I wish they hadn't resurface…

flashback

I was walking down to the Great Hall one evening and I heard a whimper come from a dark corner near the door. I stopped quickly and listened to the sound…it was a girl crying. I tiptoed closer and I peered behind into the corner and the girl caught the sight of me. She stepped out of the shadows and it was Lily Evans, the mudblood.

"Severus…"

Her small voice caught me off guard and I stood silent and I watched her wipe her eyes and give a small smile.

"I was just…"

"You were crying."

She nodded and put her arms around her chest as in a protective manner. I was confused and surprised at my next choice of words.

"Why?"

Lily's eyes softened and she laughed a little.

"Is Severus Snape actually making conversation with me…a mudblood? I think the world has gone inside out…"

I gave her a scowl and I turned on my heel and started to walk away, but her arm on my shoulder stopped me.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line. What I meant to say was…I'm crying because I had a really big fight with James. It was all my fault…"

"I don't want the details, Evans…just…leave me alone."

Lily got a playful look on her face and she smiled.

"Well, then why did you ask me why I was crying?"

I was silent. To be truly honest, I didn't even know why I asked.

"I don't know…now get away from, mudblood!"

Lily frowned and nodded sternly. She turned on her heel and headed to the Great Hall doors. I watched after her with a confused satisfaction because I don't know why I asked her what her problem was…

end of flashback

I was an insolent child back then, but I reveled in the irony of the situation. I had forgotten that incident with Lily Potter and I remembered my feelings. My heart didn't want history to repeat itself, but it had to. I couldn't let anyone get close. It was for their safety and my own.

(A.n: I know it's short and the next chapter will be even shorter, but I promise as the story goes on it will be longer. Please bear with me and keep reading. Please review!)


	4. Chapter 4 A note from the narrator

Chapter 4- A note from the narrator

(A.n: The shortest chapter of this story! Please review!)

Well, I hope that my story so far has given you an insight on my situation. You can understand my confusion, my difficult past, and my unyielding emotions. However, this is only the beginning to an unforgettable part of my life. I may be a cold hearted bastard at times, but I still have a heart. Yes, my personality may not let me feel what my heart wants to, but I say again, this is only the beginning…

A.n: The **SHORTEST CHAPTER IN MY WRITING HISTORY.** Well, please review and I promise on my life that the rest of the story will be longer and more inciting than it has been so far…please enjoy and please review!


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